A while back I promised I’d be talking about my most guilty of guilty pleasures – The Real Housewives.
I’m sort of in Housewife heaven right now because we’ve got Orange County and New Jersey running at the same time. I’d given up in New Jersey two seasons ago but someone coughDakota Cassidycough* convinced me to watch so we could snark it together and I am once again sucking on the crackpipe that is Real Housewives of New Jersey.
I do not pretend this is intelligent entertainment but I get enough of that and sometimes I just want to fall into something dramatic and silly so the Housewives totally fit the bill.
Let’s start with New Jersey – holy crap this season.
Oh Teresa, please stop! This woman with her hypocritical blinders drives me crazy. There are times I feel bad for her, her life is sort of falling apart after all. But she makes things worse for herself by acting the way she does and then reacting as if she’s such a perfect angel when she’s a total shit stirrer. But she also has this needy part to her, she wants to be seen as this awesome person when she’s trying to drive wedges between friends and family left and right. And her husband? Ugh. How about two episodes ago when he’s too busy pouring wine to check on his bleeding kid? Good thing his oldest daughter was there to deal with it. Oh and put the baby down when he was too busy…um drinking the wine to do it. Also, the dude is negative and full of shit on every front. He has nothing nice to say about anyone and he talks to his wife like she’s nothing. *hates* An apology goes like this – I’m sorry. Not I’m sorry you feel this way, or I’m sorry your husband told you when I accused you of being a gold digging whore. It’s also not I’m sorry so hey tabloid please pay me 5K to do a photo spread and pretend to be a victim with a phony apology.
But really, my absolute favorite are Kathy and Ritchie. Love them and their family. Great kids and a great attitude about parenting. She’s rational. She’s sane and she’s not always trying to start shit. In fact, it’s clear she often feels badly when her friends and family are feuding. Even when her cousin Teresa insults her and treats her like crap she remains a nice person. Which is probably why she’ll get less air time, but whatever, that’s Bravo (gosh, remember when they had actual arts programming? I miss those days). More Ro please! Kathy’s sister Rosie is awesome and I think Bravo should give her a show. I’d totally watch that!
Jacqueline is also a nice lady who needs to learn when to draw lines for real and say no and mean it. Her husband is also a sane one who treats her well and appears to be a good dad. I like that the show has some good examples when it seems flooded with people who insult their kids and act like total assholes on television. J is a good friend and man do I feel for her with all the drama with her oldest daughter.
Caroline. Well I like her more now than I did in earlier seasons, that’s for sure. However, I do wish she and her husband would school their sons on how they talk to their sister. All the shitty fat shaming they do is something so unacceptable! I felt for Lauren last week so much when she was dealing with weight issues and her brothers and father were beating up on her and pretending it was funny. And look, Bravo is heavy handed with editing, I know, but it sure didn’t look like anyone stepped in to tell those adult spoiled brats to STFU and be respectful. There’s sibling stuff and then there’s behavior that is ungentlemanly and shouldn’t be tolerated at the family dinner table. I will say though, that Caroline doesn’t beat around the bush with this whole Teresa cookbook drama and good for her. There’s cute interplay between friends and there’s shitty, below the belt insults used to manufacture drama and sell books. Caroline rightfully calls her on that.
Joe and Melissa – I didn’t like M much at first, but I think she’s had some pretty great points of late WRT Teresa’s behavior. Her SIL is vindictive and destructive and because she’s unhappy and has a crappy home life she seems dead set on making her brother’s life that way too. T’s promises to move on have been insincere since the start and while I think M’s staying out of it has been pretty heroic, she finally stood up and said NO last week and good for her. Joe is into his wife and good for him. But I’m done with the gorgasm stuff so please stop!
And Orange County – ok so this season I’ve only been half watching because I really don’t like Tamra much and she’s been in a lot of storylines this year. Blech.
Vicki – ugh dude YOU IN DANGER GURL! Get this Brooks dude out of your life. The dude never shuts up and yet says absolutely nothing. He’s all pithy quotes and sappy bullshit and yet you know nothing about him. Why is that? How can you be with a dude and not know what he does for a living? If this was someone else’s boyfriend Vicki would be up in arms over it. The way he stalked Vicki’s son and daughter at the party in the last episode was creepy and when he told Vicki he LOVED her son after meeting him ten minutes before should have led to her showing him the door. That is not normal behavior. That’s a dude with messed up boundaries. And Vicki’s reaction to B’s elopement was disappointing. Nearly as disappointing as her behavior when her daughter had the cancer scare. It’s always about her and what she wants and can take. I don’t like that at all. I can totally see why B eloped. Also, she’s 25 and has known the dude for two years, that’s not sudden. Brianna and her brother are seemingly stable and rational adults, Vicki did a good job with them. She needs to stop weeping over how everything is about her and be happy for her kids.
That said, I thought B’s behavior at the party toward Brooks was totally rude. Now again, you never know how the editing goes, but I do wish B had either confronted them with her feelings or had met him and left the room. She’s usually the rational, stable one so I didn’t get why she kept mumbling and stuff.
Gretchen – well, it’s a good thing she’s pretty cause she can’t sing. Like at all. I felt bad for her during the Pussycat dolls stuff. I’ve always felt she got treated poorly by the other women precisely because she’s younger than the rest, but really what is she doing with Slade? I mean, I’m glad she defended him with Vicki at the bunco party because V needed to be put her in her place for all her shitty behavior. But at the same time she’s wishy washy on things. Slade? Meh. Didn’t like him or Jo back when he was banging her and I still don’t much like him now. Everyone is telling him not to propose to G but you know he will. Sigh.
Alexis – FFS this woman. And her husband the creep. Enough, I’ve spoken of them more than I need to.
Newcomer Heather – She can be snobby in a big way but I like her. And I really love her husband who totally makes me laugh. For people who are so ridiculously wealthy they have the most common sense of the whole crew. She’s not a moron and she doesn’t appear to be a shit stirrer either.
Ok so that’s my ranting and raving about television people doing scripted reality television. I’m a junkie no doubt about it! Anyone else a fellow Housewives junkie? I can’t wait for BH to come back and I’ll be checking out NY to see how the new cast members work out with the rest.