Things I Don’t Do:
Apologize for my success. I worked for it, I still work for it. 95% of the year I don’t even have days off. But I’m fortunate enough to do what I do and make a living at it. I’m grateful, not ashamed.
Akin to number one – apologize for my career choices. If you’re happy with yours, I can’t imagine why you need to get on your blog or your buddy’s blog to yell about how happy you are and then attack everyone who doesn’t do it your way as an idiot. THERE IS NO ONE TRUE WAY. There are no magic beans. No tricks. It’s all hard work no matter how you go about it. So if you’re happy, go on and do your thing without tearing everyone else down to be that way.
Respond to hate mail. The world is a very big place. If you hate me, find something else to read. You decided you can’t just pick up a different book and thought to take your crappy day out on me. I’m judging you as a dick. Be hateful somewhere else. Better yet, be a human being and stop being so hateful.
Be embarrassed about writing romance. I write what I write. I own it. I love doing it. So often we’re supposed to be ashamed of things made for women by women. Fuck that. So often we’re made to think we’re stupid because we read or write about human relationships. As if we’re not smart enough to write other things? Why would I be embarrassed or worried strangers won’t think I’m smart? Pfft.
Be embarrassed to read whatever it is I’m reading. I don’t hide covers. I don’t give a crap what the clerk at the bookstore thinks when I buy my books either. I’m not ashamed of my preferences.
I am who I am. I fuck up and I own it too. I won’t own your feelings. I won’t own your insecurities, god knows I’ve got enough as it is, thanks. I have three kids, I’m not your mother. I won’t own your lack of hugs as a child, or the gaping hole in your self esteem that can only be filled by being snotty or dismissive of other people. I know a few things – I’m smart. I’m strong. I am capable of having a satisfying career while making my own choices and not apologizing.
Essentially it works this way – I’m a grown ass woman. I make my own choices. Sometimes they’re stupid choices. Most of the time I’ve reached a place in my life when they’re pretty good and make me happy. I’ll read what I want. I’ll write what I want. I’ll think what I want and feel what I want without apology.