Let’s start off with this…I have no idea what I’m doing. No really, I don’t. I feel like because this is Christmas week I should be writing about holiday traditions, or something, but since I’m celebrating the release of my pseudonym, Amanda Feral’s, first piece of holiday smuttiness, STOCKING FULL OF COAL, I should probably be talking about smut.
So, let’s meet up in the middle, a dÃ©tente, if you will, and talk about smutty traditions. Or rather creating your own smutty holiday traditions.
For instance, there’s nothing more comfortable and charming than hanging stockings from the mantle, but just imagine, slipping those floppy red blobs of felt on your feet and greeting your man—or special ladyfriend—buck naked. You’re sure to get your stocking full of something you like…and I’m not just talking about pearl necklaces. That’s right…Yule log.
And don’t try to tell me you’ve looked at those cranberry strings and not thought about fitting one inside your favorite orifice, I’m just not buying it. This year, why not give the gift of rip cording?
I don’t know about Santa, but what I want more than a plate of dried out cookies and some lukewarm milk is some holiday trim in the oftentimes flattering glitter of the Christmas tree lights. Half the fun is in keeping it quiet, but just in case the kids catch you, make sure one of you is dressed as that jolly elf. It’s easier to explain the importance of making Santa happy to the little tykes than the alternative.
See it’s not so hard.
Unless, of course, it is.
So this year…make it a point to incorporate some holiday smexy into this busy season.
And because I’m feeling rather…giving. Let’s do a giveaway. I’ve got a spare eBook of my holiday smut for the most awesome smutty tradition you can leave us in the comments. Bonus points if it’s something you’ve tried!!!
I’ll pick the winner on Christmas Eve!
That’s it. I’m spent.
Have a merry Christmas, a happy Hanukah, a festive Kwanzaa, or whatever it is you and yours enjoy celebrating, and a great big Happy Fucking New Year!
STOCKING FULL OF COAL by Amanda Feral is Mark’s first foray into anything remotely contemporary erotica, before this he’d dabbled in dirty urban fantasy and surprisingly enough YA fantasy. God help your children.