Real Life Love

Recently, I was accused of setting “unrealistic expectations” for women who read my books. Apparently, women don’t know the difference between a romance novel and real life and I am evil to not mollycoddle them all as if they had the brains of a four year old.

But really, feh to that.

What I want to talk about right now is my real life love – my husband, Ray. You see, today is my twentieth wedding anniversary. There’s a bit of him in every single hero I write because he’s the kind of man I admire. He’s intelligent and strong, passionate and he is incredibly charismatic. He doesn’t say a lot but that only means when he does speak it means something. He doesn’t just toss stuff out to fill empty spaces. He’s introspective and he cares about important things.

This year he left the job he’d had for a considerable amount of time and stepped into a huge new responsibility. I’ve watched him take on this new job and be hit from multiple sides but he’s never wavered. He’s still the thoughtful, insightful man he was before the job but now he’s got more gray hair, LOL. He works a lot more so we see him less, but he still puts his kids and me first. He rises above the petty and sometimes nasty politics of his position with such grace and intelligence that I’m humbled by it. I’m so incredibly proud of the man he continues to be and I’m so ridiculously fortunate to be married to him.

We met at 18. He had long hair and a muscle car. He wrote poetry. The first time I clapped eyes on him it was like everything inside me stilled. I said to my friend Erin after we’d left his house, “I’m going to marry that guy”

We’ve had our rough patches over the last twenty two years. But we’ve worked to keep together and he’s my mate in ways I can’t do justice to. Here I sit in our house, the mom of our three kids, driving a minivan and writing as a career and he’s been with me, my main support and cheerleader through every moment. I can’t imagine my HEA being any other way.

Love is real. To my wonderfully handsome and talented husband – I love you, always.

23 comments to “Real Life Love”

  1. Shannon Stacey
    October 8th, 2008 at 1:32 pm · Link

    Happy Anniversary!!!

    That’s an awesome and wonderful milestone! We’ll have sixteen in May, and I can’t wait for twenty and beyond.

  2. Ember
    October 8th, 2008 at 1:36 pm · Link

    That is so incredibly sweet and real</i<

    Happy anniversary to you and Mr. Dane. I hope you have another 22 years of happy marriage… and at least another 22 after that.

  3. Portia Da Costa
    October 8th, 2008 at 1:53 pm · Link

    Many Congratulations! 20 years… that is wonderful. 🙂

    Here’s to another happy and fulfilling 20 years together, and many, many more beyond that!



  4. Leah Braemel
    October 8th, 2008 at 3:58 pm · Link

    Happy Anniversary to you both!

    And may you both be around to celebrate in 20 years time. And 20 years after that …

  5. Valerie Tibbs
    October 8th, 2008 at 5:17 pm · Link

    That is wonderful! Congratulations! You made me cry!


  6. Jaci Burton
    October 8th, 2008 at 5:40 pm · Link

    Well screw whoever said you set unrealistic expectations. Honestly…

    And Happy Anniversary! Nothing like being married to the man of your dreams, is there?

    Yes, there is such a thing as a HEA. 🙂

  7. Bonnie Rose Leigh
    October 8th, 2008 at 5:49 pm · Link

    Wow, congratulations on finding that perfect mate for you and congrats on the 20 year anniversary. What a fabulous milestone. May you have many, many more years together. and to the woman who accused you of setting “unrealistic expectations” she doesn’t represent the opinions of your true fans, that’s for sure.

  8. Dana
    October 8th, 2008 at 6:24 pm · Link

    AWWWWWWWWWW, Happy Anniversery.

    We hit 23 years this past July….beat all the odds marrying young. (17 & 24 People actually made bets!)

    Wow you TWO look FAB and HAPPY together! Congrats.

    Ignore all those morons who don’t believe in HEA…for they are usually the ones that won’t weather a bit of turbulence, to find their rainbows.

    Plus it’s like this…of COURSE some things are amped up (A’hem her back against the wall feet off the floor)..I sure as hell don’t want to be reading everyday normal things…I live that already. And GB Hubby, but I don’t need him out of work for a thrown back!

    Thus reading your perfect books!!!!

    Have fun tonight making yet another memory of just ONE of many more milestones!


    P.S. Witches Knot Triad arrived today!! I simply CAN’T put it DOWN!!!!

  9. Collette
    October 8th, 2008 at 6:38 pm · Link

    Happy Anniversary sweetie! And to your sweetie too! 😉 Twenty years is amazing. I’ve always said that staying married is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Ups, downs, sorrow, joy, anger, intimacy, punching him in the head. (Well, that last one was only in my wishful imagination. And only sometimes.)

    Congratulations to both of you!

  10. Susan Helene Gottfried
    October 8th, 2008 at 7:13 pm · Link

    Unrealistic expectations. Sure! If being happy and accepted for who you are is unrealistic. If happily ever after can’t happen.

    You’re living proof those critics are wrong.

    Happy anniversary. May you have at least 20 more.

  11. Heather
    October 8th, 2008 at 8:11 pm · Link

    Conragtulations on 20 years together!!! You both look great.

  12. Susan
    October 8th, 2008 at 9:04 pm · Link

    Lauren Here! Here! I second that!

    Happy Anniversary to you & yours!! What a mile stone! My hubby & I hit that mark next year!! I said the same about him when I met him!! Absolutely wonderful tribute!!!

    To those that have that have accused you I say: Read top right corner. I do every time I come to your blog. I love it!! So honest!! My Business Management Professor said, “be passionate about what you do”. I get that from you & your words whether it’s here on your blog or the stories you write. Here! Here!

    Best Wishes today with many more to come,

  13. Lori T
    October 8th, 2008 at 10:23 pm · Link

    Happy Anniversary!! I hope that you had a wonderful day together!

  14. Joy Roett
    October 9th, 2008 at 5:29 am · Link

    Congratulations on your 20th anniversary. That is so awesome! You made me tear up.
    I think you are both are both lucky to have each other. 🙂

    For the love of romance, please continue to be evil. 😀 Your books rock!

  15. Christine
    October 9th, 2008 at 6:35 am · Link

    Happy Anniversary and here’s to the next twenty. And if someone doesn’t the difference between books and real life then they should go somewhere else.

  16. Greta
    October 9th, 2008 at 10:56 am · Link

    Lauren – I so meant to comment yesterday, I got caught up reading. Happy Anniversary! You are a very lucky woman!

  17. limecello
    October 9th, 2008 at 11:36 am · Link

    Congratulations, Lauren, and happy anniversary!!!

  18. Mad
    October 9th, 2008 at 3:21 pm · Link

    Aww, Happy Anniversary, Lauren and Ray!

  19. Lori
    October 9th, 2008 at 4:07 pm · Link

    Happy Anniversary, Lauren! What a wonderful tribute to your dude.

  20. laurendane
    October 9th, 2008 at 4:11 pm · Link

    thank you everyone, for the lovely congratulations! I am indeed a very lucky woman.

  21. Lea
    October 9th, 2008 at 4:25 pm · Link

    I’m a day late Lauren, but happy anniversary yesterday. Would that we all had such a beautiful life story to so eloquently share.

    Very Best Regards

    As for the unrealistic expectations – please continue setting them. Your a hell of a writer! 😀

  22. Michelle Lauren
    October 9th, 2008 at 7:29 pm · Link


    You and your husband look like such a cute couple. Congrats on the anniversary.

    About the naysayers…What exactly were they saying was unrealistic about the expectations of love in your books?

    Sounds like a reader or critic had some sour grapes and tried to take it out on you. Don’t let them get you down.

    Michelle Lauren
    HOW TO TAME A HARPY (American Title V Finalist)
    Voting starts November 2008!

  23. catie
    October 18th, 2008 at 1:33 am · Link

    I know it’s several days late in the offing but…HAPPY ANNIVERSARY LAUREN!!! 😀