Sigh. Okay, I'm about to rant and it's not pretty. You have been warned

Yannow, today is crappy on several levels. And then I got wind of this little gem from “Kat” who, while enjoying the book club menu of foods starting with “I”, decided with her very smart and highbrow friends that they wanted to read something “mindless”. Which, having read through her blog, I think mindless is right up Kat’s alley.

After being treated to a lovely recount of pizza and boxed wine, they’re doing happy hour next month (and let’s be honest, I had a book club for five years, we did a lot more socializing and talking about the next meeting and where it would be instead if the book. I can own it!) Anyway, so Kat says this: We visited the Harlequin website to discover that these people publish like, 10 books a month. The best part is that the site is dubbed, “books for women who love to read.” Seriously? It should be dubbed, “books for women who like to read the trashiest, smuttiest crap ever. Specifically focusing on marriage and pregnancy.”

Oh my. Kat, I’m sorry we can’t all uphold your fine intellectual ideals there in your dorm room and all but you don’t know shit. Not that I’m surprised, it’s your type and all. You know, the type who wears that simpering smile, her ass bunched up tight as she imagines herself better than people who, you know, do stuff other than sit around and tsk like a tightass and try to impress us all with just how darned smart you are.

Gold star, Kat! You’re so smart and fun and pretty! I’d totally love to braid your hair and talk about boys with you while we ate popcorn and tried not to think about how many calories it has. And stuff.

Here’s a clue – if you really looked at the eharlequin site you’d have seen many many books that cover a wide array of subjects from sheiks to NYT best selling thrillers. And also, while I’ve got you here I can clue you in. You’re not smarter than me because you make fun of what I write and read. In fact, it just shows your ass. Don’t read what you don’t like. If you don’t want to read a romance, probably harlequin isn’t the place for you.

But if you’re amazed by a publisher putting out ten books a month, you don’t know much about publishing in general. It’s okay, I can see you know know much about a lot of things. Most people don’t, as it happens. Only they don’t get on their blog and pretend to be super smart and sophisticated by making fun of “mindless” books.

For the record, Kat, while we’re here chatting and all, I write mindless books. Romance is 54% of the book buying market, as it happens. Millions of women buying millions of books. Now, we know it’s not The Kite Runner and not every book is meant to be either. Sometimes, when we don’t live off our parents’ money and stuff, we have jobs and lives that don’t involve sitting around making fun of people who do. And then we like to read popular fiction. I suppose that makes us all big poopy heads in your view. But I’d rather be a big poopy head than a self-righteous, contemptuous person like you.

Oh, and Kat? Have a nice day.

16 comments to “Sigh. Okay, I'm about to rant and it's not pretty. You have been warned”

  1. mMm
    July 1st, 2008 at 3:26 pm · Link


    I feel like I should go tan.

  2. Marissa Scott
    July 1st, 2008 at 4:42 pm · Link

    😯 😯 😯 Well. I’m going to go tan with Megan. LOL

    Rock on with your bad self, Lauren. Rock on! 😀

  3. april s
    July 1st, 2008 at 5:13 pm · Link

    😛 LOL OMG too funny! Gee Lauren, dont hold back, please feel free to tell us how you feel 😆 Seriously though, you are right, as usual. I wish I could be a witty as you….Well, Im going to look at the eHarelquin website now 😈

  4. Valerie Tibbs
    July 1st, 2008 at 5:32 pm · Link

    What is wrong with people who complain about stuff they know NOTHING about?

    To echo Marissa’s comment – ROCK ON!

    Off to buy more books!


  5. Karen Erickson
    July 1st, 2008 at 5:53 pm · Link

    I don’t like people like that. They suck.

  6. mMm
    July 1st, 2008 at 6:24 pm · Link

    Life’s way too short to spend time doing stuff you don’t like. Seriously. I don’t like lots of things — westerns. I’m not so much for the Westerns. So chances are I’m not going to reach for a Western. But if I pick one up and read it, and I don’t like it…I certainly won’t be surprised and I won’t blog about how bad it was, because…get this…I don’t like them!

    And for the vast, great world who loves westerns, well, yay! That’s great! Because you love it, I don’t have to, nor do I have to crap all over it just because I don’t.


  7. Charlene
    July 1st, 2008 at 6:30 pm · Link

    Harlequin publishes 10 books a month? I take it counting isn’t somebody’s strong suit…

    Speaking of Harlequin I am full of squee because I have Hope Tarr’s historical Blaze! Woo! I have a hot date with trashy smut when I finish fiddling with this final revision pass. Where I worry about things like if the language is pretty enough and if a phrase repeats…

  8. Jaci Burton
    July 1st, 2008 at 6:31 pm · Link

    Ah Lauren. I do so love you.

    I tanned out in my back yard today. Though that’s not really the topic, is it. Heh.

    But then how the hell would I know what the topic is? I’m just one of those ditzes who write romance.

    I think I’ll go polish my toenails now. And then edit my smut.


  9. Jennifer A. Ray
    July 1st, 2008 at 7:10 pm · Link

    What a narrow-minded point of view – Kat’s, not yours, Lauren!

    Seriously, I’m happy enough to hear people are still reading at all these days. Why make them feel bad about what they are reading?

    My book shelves have everything from William Shakespeare to Frank Herbert to the most erotic romance and even those oft-maligned Harlequins. I particularly like those smutty little Harlequin Blazes and Silhouette Nocturnes. And I adore many of the eBooks I’ve read from places like Samhain, Ellora’s Cave, Loose ID and more.

    Each genre serves its purpose. Each fills a place in someone’s life. When I want something more high-brow, yeah, I’m probably going to turn to someone like Frank Herbert. When I want something that soothes my sould and gives me hope, I will probably pick up a book by one of my favorite romance authors. Then there are ties when I just want to feel like a kid again and I turn to a children’s author like C.S. Lewis or Peter David.

    Read. It doesn’t matter what, just read. It extends the imagination, broadens the vocabulary, and makes you think.

    I feel sad for anyone who doesn’t get that and limits their own world with a narrow-minded view.

    OK, I might be ranting now a little myself… LOL

  10. Lori
    July 1st, 2008 at 7:21 pm · Link

    Clapping. Rant away!

  11. Mad
    July 1st, 2008 at 7:27 pm · Link

    *raises hand* I gladly call myself a big poopy head just so I’m not in the same group as Kat and her readers’ group. Pfft on them! :mrgreen:

  12. Mad
    July 1st, 2008 at 7:27 pm · Link

    And oh yeah, I’m off to go read more of my smutty reads. 😆 😆

  13. Ali
    July 1st, 2008 at 7:28 pm · Link

    You go Lauren! 😀

    Now I’m off to read more smut 😉 lol

  14. Greta
    July 2nd, 2008 at 3:39 am · Link

    I can’t say it any better than the others have.

    Off to read more smut.

  15. limecello
    July 2nd, 2008 at 11:09 am · Link

    I am so amused. Wow – b/c you know, since we all read bubble head empty trashy romance… I’m surprised we’re smart enough to read.
    Would that all of us could be be as amazing as Kat. I’m giving her a gold star too!

  16. spanky mcdildo
    July 2nd, 2008 at 11:12 am · Link

    I’m going to write some tanning smut now!

    Cuz skin cancer is teh sexy!