Lord I Was Born a Ramblin Woman…

So I was errand girl this morning. It works like this – one kid to school, come back, the second kid to school, come back. Argue with a three year old about her constant state of undress. Wrestle her back into clothes and head out again, this time to the library. Check out books, turn in books, deal with iffy road conditions because hello, rain and wind again. Grocery store. Three year old complains about how dark it is. All the carts are wet so she has to free range. Thank god the store isn’t crowded. Still, how the hell did I end up spending 110 bucks?

Finally the seat is dry so I can put the monster into the cart for the trip back to the van and I get there to see the front headlight has been broken and there’s glass everywhere. But I’m against a median strip and I parked a ways back so no one is around me. I have no idea what happened and I hate to think someone kicked it out or otherwise broke it on purpose. Anyway. Back home, conversation with the husband about the headlight.

My emails have mated and there are two hundred of them and jeez, it’s noon!

I hope everyone is enjoying the day. It’s my last one before my sons are off school until January. Too bad they don’t sell xanax over the counter at the grocery store. I did promise to make brownies and cupcakes though, which is sort of like xanax only it makes my ass bigger (she says as she belts a diet coke with lime and why don’t those have splenda in them?)

Speaking of splenda, okay so I love my mom. She’s a hoot. She just sent me four boxes of splenda. Now, I don’t eat it on everything and I’m not obsessed with it (like I am decaf tazo chai) so it makes me laugh to open a box she’s mailed to find four boxes of splenda. I realize at some point in my future, I’ll be doing the same damned thing with my kids. Today, I teased the oldest I was just going to put a packet of mayonaise in his lunchbox. He didn’t think it was funny (he’s like the uber picky eater and he never eats school lunch, just the same mom packed lunch every day, sigh). However, I did. I laughed and laughed and then he got all pissy. Jeebus. I told him he should be glad I don’t wear curlers when I drop him off and I bother to wear a bra and stuff. He then got horrified, which made me laugh even more. Mother of the year, people, that’s me.

I have ARCs – neener neener.

7 comments to “Lord I Was Born a Ramblin Woman…”

  1. Cathy M
    December 19th, 2007 at 1:31 pm · Link

    Your family stories always get me laughing. Good luck surviving the holiday. Sounds like hot toddy’s before bed should be a requirement.

  2. Cherie J
    December 19th, 2007 at 3:31 pm · Link

    LOL. Your mom sounds like mine. She does stuff like that to me too.

  3. Karen Erickson
    December 19th, 2007 at 4:29 pm · Link

    My mother does this too. Or she sends me newspaper/magazine articles she thinks I might like to read. Really they’re hints for things I should be doing. Sigh. I’m sure I’ll do this to my children some day.

    I wish they sold xanax over the counter too. That would be sooooo nice.

  4. laurendane
    December 19th, 2007 at 4:45 pm · Link

    Cathy – No kidding!

    Cherie – LOL, my mom cracks me up.

    Karen – does she send you cartoons cut out of the paper? My mom does that. She even labels the characters with my kids’ names.

  5. Christine
    December 19th, 2007 at 5:20 pm · Link

    Sounds like my day at times too. Though I look for a valium w/ a vodka chaser.

  6. Estella
    December 19th, 2007 at 8:02 pm · Link

    Sounds like a typical family household to me.

  7. Pamk
    December 22nd, 2007 at 7:21 pm · Link

    sounds like a typical day in the life. Sorry about the van and lol with the splenda. hopefully tomorrow will be better