On The Importance of Paragraph Breaks And Not Sounding Like A Crackhead

A few things – there is a world of difference between voicing concerns in a professional manner and ranting like a crackhead. Really, it’s not unprofessional to take your concerns to the publisher or your editor and if you receive an answer that doesn’t satisfy you, it might be something to take public. And yet, when an author says, “I’ve had some trouble receiving my royalties from crazycrackhead press” she can do so without posting rants absent paragraph breaks, punctuation and written in all caps without benefit of a spellchecker.

We all get frustrated. We all get downhearted about things that happen and many times, those of us who want to keep a career anyway, try to find solutions to our problems either behind the scenes or privately. And if we go public, we choose our words carefully because this is a very small industry. I realize this doesn’t give a week’s worth of blog drama to others but there’s a lot to be said about authors who keep their mouths shut and deal with problems professionally behind the scenes when they can and professionally in public when they need to.

That doesn’t mean you need to be fucked over by crazycrackhead press! It doesn’t mean you should be silent when your friends tell you they plan to submit to crazycrackho press. There are plenty of ways to deal with problems without telling the world your dog ate your homework or jealous bitches are out to get you.

I’m not the epitome of professionalism. I’d totally wear a costume to a booksigning. I sing showtunes in public hallways. I say bad words and let my kids eat potato chips and watch Spongebob. But if I can refrain from three screen long, incoherent rants in all caps where a good eighty five percent of the words are misspelled, so you can you. I swear.

Take a deep breath, drink some tea, but don’t hit “send” until you’ve given yourself some time to think. Most of the time I type, save and come back later to edit (hell, I edited this three times) Don’t be a douchebag, don’t threaten to sue, don’t accuse people who don’t agree with you of being jealous bitches, don’t tell us how much money you make, don’t tell us how important you are or what a great writer you are. Don’t tell us about your financial troubles or your wild daughter. This is oversharing and it’s not necessary. It’s tacky and grotesque and it’s not professional.

6 comments to “On The Importance of Paragraph Breaks And Not Sounding Like A Crackhead”

  1. Angela James
    September 3rd, 2007 at 4:19 pm · Link

    Don’t tell us about your financial troubles or your wild daughter.

    Does this mean I have to stop talking about the terrible two’s (soon to be terrible three’s) and potty training on my blog? Damn.

  2. Lauren
    September 3rd, 2007 at 4:37 pm · Link

    If you sent out an email to the biz list saying you didn’t turn in finals of edits and screwed up a bunch of stuff because of potty training and blamed your authors for it, perhaps, LOL.

  3. Jordan
    September 3rd, 2007 at 5:15 pm · Link

    I take it someone else has chosen this moment to melt down..?

  4. lauren
    September 3rd, 2007 at 7:32 pm · Link

    Yes, sad but true, Jordan. I dunno, every three months like clockwork someone loses their shit. This is multiple people, authors and publishers and a few editors tossed in just to make things extra trainwrecky.

  5. Charlene
    September 4th, 2007 at 9:47 am · Link

    Oh, good grief. 😯 Wouldn’t all that drama work better in, I don’t know, A BOOK?

  6. Anny Cook
    September 7th, 2007 at 9:01 pm · Link

    Thank you. I’m very tired of the unprofessional blogs, posts, webpages… that reflect not just on their owners but on all the rest of us in the same profession. Thank you for saying what needs to be said about once a week.