Thirteen Summer Road Trip Murphy's Laws
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Thirteen Summer Road Trip Murphy’s Laws

1. Children will get sick on vacation

2. Usually one after the other

3. Almost always involving horrible monkey troubles or vomit

4. In the car

5. If you do not get them all the exact same things to play with on the road, they will fight incessantly, just on principle

6. One of them will break their toy, lose the book, damage the whatever it is and they’ll still fight when the other kids still have their whatever it is, whole and shiny.

7. Their grandparents will send them something that makes an annoying sound.

8. The batteries in this will last until the next ice age

9. Something will go wrong with the car on a road trip

10. At some point, you will get into a fight with your spouse and will spend at least several hours at your in-laws, in the car or at an amusement park trying to ignore them.

11. However, quiet, furtive and hurried make up sex will be memorable and make you smile the rest of the way home.

12. At least one of your children will do or say something horribly embarrassing and/or so dangerous you’ll fear being thrown out or banned at a restaurant chain or amusement park or get beaten up by the woman whose large mole with the very long black hair growing out of it your son just loudly asked her about.

13. The last day of a road trip will always have tears, a potty accident of some sort, a child in need of roadside first aid, exhausted temper tantrums and a lack of clean clothing.

(14 – you’ll do it all again next year)

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24 comments to “Thirteen Summer Road Trip Murphy's Laws”

  1. Lori
    June 21st, 2007 at 12:02 am · Link

    LOL – I’m so on board with # 5 and 8! The rest get better as they get older- I swear!

  2. Shelley Munro
    June 21st, 2007 at 2:43 am · Link

    LOL – yep, definitely a reason I didn’t have kids 😀 The toys that make noises and the batteries that last for ever would work my last nerve for sure!

  3. Milan - zzz
    June 21st, 2007 at 3:32 am · Link

    I think I’m the reason why Murphy’s Law exists!
    However I’m very easy on the trips: no kids, I love to travel solo, don’t have special requirements about anything… whenever I solve all pre-travel problems so that I could actually go anywhere *SIGH*


  4. N.J. Walters
    June 21st, 2007 at 4:22 am · Link

    LOL I don’t have kids, but I remember what it was like when I was one. LOL

  5. Kate Scott
    June 21st, 2007 at 5:41 am · Link

    *snicker* Oh, the fun things I have to look forward to…

  6. L.A. Day
    June 21st, 2007 at 6:28 am · Link

    Thanks! I’m going on a road trip in a couple weeks with two young teenage girls. Now, you have me thinking about what I have to look forward to.

  7. Jaynie R
    June 21st, 2007 at 6:38 am · Link

    Okay, you’re talking about me aren’t you

    That is just so so true. Remind me again why do it every year.

  8. Lorelei James
    June 21st, 2007 at 6:51 am · Link

    How true. Two years ago we traveled 5500 miles, from South Dakota to Key West, FL in the car. The girls didn’t fight much…until we were like 30 miles from home. Crazy.

  9. Anne
    June 21st, 2007 at 7:01 am · Link

    OMG, LOL I soooo remember those days, but honestly, as teenagers, it’s not much better. “Tell him to turn his iPod down, I can hear his music.” The other one just glares. Pffft! Neverending drama. 🙄

  10. Andrea
    June 21st, 2007 at 7:58 am · Link

    This so reminds me of my childhood road trips! My sister left her Bun-Bun (stuffed red rabbit) at a motel once and we had to backtrack three hours to retrieve it. Good times!

  11. Nicole Austin
    June 21st, 2007 at 10:46 am · Link

    ROFL! All of those are so true. I’d though with a 7 year age difference my kids wouldn’t fight, but they were horrible. Every time we stopped it was a fight getting back into the van as to who got to sit where. Ugh!

  12. Mechele Armstrong aka Lany of Melany Logen
    June 21st, 2007 at 12:03 pm · Link

    LOL I’ve experienced a lot of these. Love it.

  13. Susan Helene Gottfried
    June 21st, 2007 at 12:15 pm · Link

    oh, too true. Too true!

    In fact, I have a sick monkey here right now. So much for my quiet afternoon working!

  14. Jennifer Dunne
    June 21st, 2007 at 1:00 pm · Link

    Horrible monkey troubles?!? Do I even want to know?

    Of course, in my mind, this translates to endless repetitions of the conversation:
    “Haven’t you always wanted a monkey?”
    “No. I’ve never wanted a monkey.”
    (pause) “But haven’t you always WANTED a monkey?”

    *glances furtively about, hoping her travel companion does not read this blog and get ideas that will make her gouge her own eyes out with a spork…*

  15. Ann
    June 21st, 2007 at 1:15 pm · Link

    Horrible monkey troubles? I confess, I’m curious. Happy Solstice! 🙂

  16. laurendane
    June 21st, 2007 at 1:18 pm · Link

    LOL – monkey troubles is our family word for diarrhea

  17. laurendane
    June 21st, 2007 at 1:18 pm · Link

    Jaynie, I think it’s because you know there will be good memories despite the hell you know you’ll endure.

  18. Red Garnier
    June 21st, 2007 at 3:14 pm · Link

    Just brought forth all the haunting memories of my last trip!!! But I admit I am UP for the make up sex! 😀

  19. Ann(ie)
    June 21st, 2007 at 5:30 pm · Link

    Too funny!

  20. rhian
    June 21st, 2007 at 5:31 pm · Link

    Oye! Road trips + small kids = tremendous courage! #12 cracked me up! My 14 year old did something similar on our vacation.

  21. Lesley Speller
    June 21st, 2007 at 8:05 pm · Link

    Ah the joys of family vacations! That must be why we took all of like four that I can remember in my entire childhood! *looks at her adorable toddler* This year my husband and I are flying on a plane for eight hours to visit my in-laws in Denmark with my two year old… Wish me luck!

  22. Riley Merrick
    June 22nd, 2007 at 4:18 am · Link

    My mother wins the “say something outrageous to embarass your parents in public” prize: when she was a child, my grandmother took her to the doctor’s for the first time, and the doctor happened to be the first black person she had ever seen…and she kept asking if he took baths, b/c he was so dirty. My grandmother still cringes when she tells the story!

  23. Lisa Andel
    June 22nd, 2007 at 5:57 am · Link

    I’m running a day late, but I promised myself to visit the entire TT this week from Rhian’s site.

    I’m the wicked aunt that buys the loud annoying toy or tubs of slime for her nieces and nephews.

    And number 11 is always good (why is that?).

  24. Seeley deBorn
    June 22nd, 2007 at 11:41 am · Link

    Gawd, even one kid can make way too much noise in the backseat. That’s it, we’re staying home!