Thirteen Summer Road Trip Murphy’s Laws
1. Children will get sick on vacation
2. Usually one after the other
3. Almost always involving horrible monkey troubles or vomit
4. In the car
5. If you do not get them all the exact same things to play with on the road, they will fight incessantly, just on principle
6. One of them will break their toy, lose the book, damage the whatever it is and they’ll still fight when the other kids still have their whatever it is, whole and shiny.
7. Their grandparents will send them something that makes an annoying sound.
8. The batteries in this will last until the next ice age
9. Something will go wrong with the car on a road trip
10. At some point, you will get into a fight with your spouse and will spend at least several hours at your in-laws, in the car or at an amusement park trying to ignore them.
11. However, quiet, furtive and hurried make up sex will be memorable and make you smile the rest of the way home.
12. At least one of your children will do or say something horribly embarrassing and/or so dangerous you’ll fear being thrown out or banned at a restaurant chain or amusement park or get beaten up by the woman whose large mole with the very long black hair growing out of it your son just loudly asked her about.
13. The last day of a road trip will always have tears, a potty accident of some sort, a child in need of roadside first aid, exhausted temper tantrums and a lack of clean clothing.
(14 – you’ll do it all again next year)