The Pit of Negativity

I should so not write about this, I should be politic and pretend I don’t see it but really, I can’t. I can’t because there’s something I hate more than Anne Coulter and that’s when people gang up and make other people afraid to speak out. That’s petty bullshit bullyism and it’s not okay.

What I’m seeing is so reminescent of 10th grade it gives me the hives. It’s Mean Girls with blogs and aside from being tedious, it’s a vicious cycle.

Here’s the thing – is there a double standard about what authors can say and how they respond to anything said about them? Yep. And I accept that. It comes with the territory and if you don’t get used to it, you’re going to get an ulcer and be upset all the time.

But are there people out there in blogland right now who take everything positive and spin it to a negative because they seem to feed on that? Yes. Yes and those same people are the first ones to whine if anyone turns that around on them.

However, these folks are not indicative of the reader/author blog group and I want to re-emphasize that. 99% of romance lovers (readers/authors/reviewers) are not this way. They’re places you can have a great, spirited discussion, even disagreements, without negativity or anger.

I remember not too long ago, consistent assertions that there was some sort of divide or feud between authors and readers and I called bullshit then and I call it now.

I’m not buying it because it’s not rational to apply the behavior of a few to generalize outward. And I don’t buy that speaking out in opposition or giving another opinion makes anyone thin skinned or an author misbehaving or whatever. I’m never going to buy that the presence of an opinion counter to one I hold, or one you hold, is in and of itself a bad thing.

What I choose to do then, is to reject the rampant bitterness out there in certain places. I’m going to say out loud that when anyone has to be afraid to be honest or speak up that’s not right.

So I’m saying no. Not going there, not commenting. I’m not playing because I have enough negativity in my life as it is. But no petty dictator wannabe is gonna tell me I can’t speak my mind.

7 comments to “The Pit of Negativity”

  1. rhian
    February 20th, 2007 at 3:19 pm · Link

    Banging head on desk. Do we even want to know who is being crucified now? Have i mentioned recently how awesome and incredible you are and what a wonderful champion you are for pointing out that maintaining a positive point of view is more important than anything else. You Lauren are one of my favorite people on the planet. (Would a blog hug be too mushy here?)

  2. anya bast
    February 20th, 2007 at 4:33 pm · Link

    Here’s how Anya deals with negativity, judgmental people and drama:

    *plugs ears* Ican’thearyou!Ican’thearyou!Lalala!Lalala!

    Dude, just say no to drama.

  3. Jordan
    February 20th, 2007 at 3:46 pm · Link

    Uh oh. 😕

  4. laurendane
    February 20th, 2007 at 3:49 pm · Link

    LOL, it’s not one incident or one person, just a general feeling that’s been building up lately.

  5. Anne
    February 20th, 2007 at 4:32 pm · Link

    I was there not too long back, remember? I know what you are feeling and (((HUGS))) to you Lauren. You are such a wonderful person and I’m glad that you’re not like those snarky bitches out there. You know what else I love? That you just pop over to my blog and post a comment on a post I put up on a book I love… THAT to me is a friendly down-to-earth girl. Love you!

  6. laurendane
    February 20th, 2007 at 4:45 pm · Link

    Oh Anne, you’re so sweet. And exactly my point about how the majority of people aren’t like that at all! Thank you.

    And Anya – yep, just sayin no. It’s not worth the negative energy.

  7. Maura
    February 21st, 2007 at 1:06 pm · Link

    I’ve been watching from the sidelines and I’ve noticed a lot of this – not only in this arena but in others.

    I’ve never found it attractive or witty to be a bitch. Yet in seems to permeate our society. I don’t watch much tv but I shun American Idol because of what *I* perceive as deliberate cruelty and bitchiness.

    I think I am a genuinely nice person at heart and I want no part of it. I don’t respond and I try to not read it. I guess I vote with my mouse….