There Are No Magic Beans

Here’s something that should not come as a shock to anyone who’s sat down and completed a novel – there are no magic formulas, no spells or incantations to writing a publishable novel. It takes hard work. And ambition and follow through. Not to mention a tough hide and no small about of creativity.

But Tina Adams wants you to think there is a magic formula and she’s going to sell all you aspiring romance authors some magic beans for the incredibly low price of just $197.00! What a deal. But wait, you might ask yourself, just who is this Tina Adams and if she has the magic beans why don’t I know her name?

Good question boys and girls!

Tina is going to give you her secrets on:

  • What a romance novel “isperhaps she should tell us all given that all nine thousand members of the RWA can’t seem to agree
  • What all writers must have before they can write a story Uh, an idea?
  • A simple technique for developing your initial idea into a complete novel concept sitting your ass down and doing the work. There are no magic formulas for this, people. It takes effort. Sometimes the ideas come easy, sometimes they don’t.
  • Why the best stories are about characters having something vitally important to do she wants 200 bucks to tell us this?
  • The one question you must answer to “suspend your readers disbelief” and keep her reading your story why should I give my hard earned money to a woman who has poetry with diskus and one book that no one’s ever heard of?
  • A flawless method for choosing which point of view to write your story from What?
  • A sentence-by-sentence method for plotting your story Look, you can get this stuff for free and at your library from people who are successful authors
  • The secret to creating a winning six-second sales pitch for your book Yeah, cause Tina’s a household name.

Here’s the deal – this pisses me off because this woman is pirating the dreams of people who want to be published authors and using their desire to rip them off.

She says she wrote for twenty years before developing this product. How much good has it done her? Are her books on the shelves at your local bookstore? What are her qualifications to claim she can teach you her “magical formula?”

Sorry folks, if there were magic beans, she’d be making more money than Nora Roberts who, by the way writes from 8 – 5 every day – work people. Work and ambition and drive. So get your ass in the chair and write. And write and finish. And crit and re-write and submit. That’s the formula. If you want books on craft, check out Stephen King’s book on writing or Orson Scott Card’s book – these guys have a reason to be writing on writing – ie a body of work to support what they’re telling you.

3 comments to “There Are No Magic Beans”

  1. Lili
    April 28th, 2006 at 2:45 pm · Link

    Exactly. Sit down and just do it. Good, bad or ugly, just do it. It’s what to do with it after that’s the kicker.

    I’ve landed on so many publishing sites recently that say you can’t possibly even think of submitting any written material to any agent or publisher before buying one, three, or ten books on the subject of ‘how to pitch and submit,’ all written and published by the website owners. It’s so tiring and confusing.

    And btw, send me the covers when you’re ready, and they’re ready to go, so I can pop them in my sidebar.

  2. Meljprincess
    April 29th, 2006 at 7:00 am · Link

    Thanks for the advice, Lauren and lili. This Tina person just wants to make a few bucks. OK, a lot of bucks. I have the Stephen King book. I’ll read it. I’m an aspiring author.

  3. Lauren Dane
    April 29th, 2006 at 7:53 am · Link

    I liked the Stephen King book – and Orson Scott Card’s book is good too.

    For me (and writing is such an individual thing) it’s helpful to read other people’s attitudes about craft but not necessarily a how to manual. But that’s just me.

    Also, just reading well written books of any genre is a great tool.