Squee and A Bit of Navel Gazing

Goldfrapp has a new CD coming out next month. I shouldn’t squee but I will. I love Goldfrapp. Happy sigh.

Over at Smart Bitches a discussion about polyamory and group sex in romances and the comments made me think about the purpose of romance in general.

Some of the comments were very vehemently opposed and seemed to tie their opinions into the idea that it’s not something they’d want in real life. And well, you know, there are loads of things in books that make me tingly that I wouldn’t want to do in real life. Hell, if I met an actual vampire I’d probably lose my lunch.

But books are about fantasy. I’m not saying that people are wrong to not like group scenes in their erotic romance, sexuality is like a snowflake, we’re all different and that’s wonderful. There are plenty of things that don’t turn my crank and so I don’t buy books with capture bondage in them or rape. Not my thang, thanks.

At the same time, I think that the sales of menage books will show that a heck of a lot of readers like the fantasy AND think that it can be romantic with more than your traditional dyad. Of course, not every menage book works, I’m quite picky about them. But I write them and so I’m cracked that way anyway.

I suppose what I find interesting and hard to wrap my head around is that you can’t like a sexual scenario you wouldn’t want in real life. And I’m generalizing here so bear with me – but how can one read paranormals for instance if you’re so bound to real life? I mean, me? I have trouble with books that try to be extremely realistic without any research. Books featuring lawyers or courtroom scenes drive me insane, I start muttering and getting pissy and my husband takes the book away from me (he’s the same way when I start arguing with the television). Back to the menage thing – I do want some measure of realism – show me why people would be all right with sharing their love that way – doesn’t have to be a huge part of the story but it had better be there somehow. But that’s not really about not liking menage sex, it’s about wanting a storyline to back it up. And I want that no matter if it’s cowboys, Navy SEALs or threesomes.

Anyway, I’m babbling and trying very hard to understand this perspective. Not that I think it’s wrong or bad, but because I can’t wrap my head around it.

Then there was the whole “it’s immoral” argument. And well, again, this is something I really can’t understand because you’re reading erotic romance and most of the time it’s hot sex between non married people anyway. So if there are three or five, what’s more immoral? Is there some sort of morality multiplier? I get the cheating thing, if one party isn’t okay with it that’s infidelity and I hate books with infidelity in them. But that’s almost never the case and most truly in erotic romance.

LOL, I just like to understand I suppose. It’s part of my infuriating need to know everything.

2 comments to “Squee and A Bit of Navel Gazing”

  1. Millenia Black
    February 2nd, 2006 at 8:33 am · Link

    Hey, we’re not talking about required reading here. Let folks write what they want to write. If it sells and creates a demand – great. Let folks read what they want to read.

    I think readers (and authors) tend to go overboard in their judgements and criticisms of other readers. If someone wants to read about orgies, gay sex, yada-yada, that doesn’t mean that you have to…

    Does it?

  2. Lauren Dane
    February 2nd, 2006 at 8:52 am · Link

    One hopes, Millenia, LOL.