Loves: Tool Academy. I know. I do and I’m sort of ashamed but I cannot tear my eyes away! I can’t deal with the new Rock of Love at all – these women are so beyond sanity and personal hygiene that my pity gene won’t allow me to watch without massive eye watering and muttering. So while I was in bed, too tired to write anymore and too tired to fall asleep right away I caught an episode of Tool Academy and I was hooked.
Don’t get me wrong, this show is spectacularly awful and these women need way more therapy than they can get on some VH1 exploitation fest but I don’t know, there’s something compelling in a guilty pleasure sort of way. The daily therapy sessions, yes they call them that, I don’t know if the lady with the accent is really a therapist but she has an accent and we all know that’s a TV shortcut to give an air of authority and hello, it’s a VH1 reality show, if these women really wanted help would they be humiliating themselves on television by showing us all what they’ve put up with for 6 and 10 years?
A few of the guys seem like they truly want to change but most of them are spectacular a-holes. And these women, sigh. I can’t hear the, “I put six years into him, I can’t just walk away knowing I didn’t do everything I could” without thinking, he’s been fucking his way through your girlfriends and siblings for six years, eating all the food in your fridge, insulting your mom, not paying rent and leaving him now is really knowing you did everything you could because getting 100K if you make it through isn’t really a good indicator of change. But that’s just me.
I love my husband very much. we’ve been together for 23 years and let me tell you, if he had an alter ego name like “matsuflex” or “celebrity” wherein he used the name use the douchebag card in general, there would not be 23 years of togetherness. There has to be a point where boys grow into men and women stop letting men who are boys walk all over them and get away with fucking their friends. Yannow? If not, I suppose let’s put it on tv so I can look heavenward and mouth thank you when my dude walks into the room with a piece of chocolate.
Anyhoodle, yes I love it. It’s better than Housewives of OC, which had been my reality TV guilty pleasure up to this point.
Hates: Can we PLEASE stop talking about Jessica Simpson’s weight? OH MY GOD. The economy is in ruins, we’re in a war on two fronts, institutional peanut butter snacks are making children and the elderly sick and every freaking news story last night on the entertainment shows was about Jessica Simpson’s weight. Who fucking cares? Like seriously? You don’t know her and I think her life is hard enough performing at chili cook offs instead of at the superbowl so let’s just let the poor girl sing her shallow pop songs in peace. At least her creepily inappropriate father isn’t talking about how hot her body is, okay? Jeebus.
All this excessive attention on the woman’s pants size (when girlfriend, those PANTS were a crime against humanity and would make twiggy look like a heifer anyway) is just stupid. STUPID. We can’t have it both ways. The media gets all over people like Misha Barton for being too thin but Jessica Simpson for not being too thin – there’s no middle ground. Leave her alone. Jeez.