So, a little story if I may…
Earlier this week I said to Megan via IM – “you know, I’m just so sick of being on the verge of breaking. When do I reach the point where I accept it isn’t going to happen and just be happy with what I have?” (and she said, “NEVERRRR, We’re Spartans!” which is why I adore her so).
I hit this spot where I wasn’t necessarily sad, but I just felt sort of bleh and uninspired. I usually feel so passionate about writing but I think I was just in a big old rut.
Then as the days of this week began to pass, I hit my sweet spot in Standoff and I felt like I really began to get my characters and understand them and I truly fell in love with the book and then I got my fab cover and I thought this morning, “well, you know, I have things pretty damned good”
I got a phone call about forty minutes after I posted. It was my agent and she told me I’d just sold to Berkley Heat. I nearly fell over. After much squeeing on both ends and a lot of “OMIGOD!” on my end and “holy shit!” too, I’m still sort of shaky. I’ve wanted to write for Berkley forever and I can honestly say they’re a dream for me. I called my husband and sort of blurted out the news and had to get off the phone because the other line was ringing and my daughter was talking loudly and I couldn’t hear anything and I got about three steps to go downstairs and I had to stop and sit as the tears really hit.
I’m so fortunate. I have this dream. I have a beautiful, wonderful family and a husband who will hear my second voicemail in which I bawl and he probably can’t understand a thing I said but he’ll listen anyway. I have the most wonderful agent in the whole world who has been so supportive and has believed in me when I wasn’t sure I believed in myself and I have fabulous friends who did the happy dance along with me.
So now I can announce it in public and I’m still bowled over and thank god it’s sven and I’ve been working my ass off becuase I’m 60% done with Standoff and when I finish that I’ve got to get working on Battlefront because it’s due at the end of January! But I can do it. I can. OMG, I can!
Essentially, I suppose the moral of the story is – keep writing. It will happen. I know I’ve told myself this a thousand times and there were days I thought they were empty words. But I kept writing and wow, I’m just a goofy tool, but a lucky, goofy tool.