Vixenwriter

Current musical addiction number 12:

The Foo Fighters - The Pretender

Keep you in the dark
You know they all pretend
Keep you in the dark
And so it all began

Send in your skeletons
Sing as their bones go marching in…again
The need you buried deep
The secrets that you keep are at the ready
Are you ready?
I’m finished making sense
Done pleading ignorance
That whole…defense

Spinning infinity, boy
The wheel is spinning me
It’s never-ending, never-ending
Same old story

What if I say I’m not like the others?
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays
You’re the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?

What if I say I’m not like the others?
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays
You’re the pretender
What if I say that I’ll never surrender?

In time our soul untold
I’m just another soul for sale… oh, well
The page is out of print
We are not permanent
We’re temporary, temporary
Same old story

What if I say I’m not like the others?
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays
You’re the pretender
What if I say that I’ll never surrender?

What if I say I’m not like the others?
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays
You’re the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?

I’m the voice inside your head
You refuse to hear
I’m the face that you have to face
Mirrored in your stare
I’m what’s left, I’m what’s right
I’m the enemy
I’m the hand that will take you down
Bring you to your knees

So who are you?
Yeah, who are you?
Yeah, who are you?
Yeah, who are you?

Keep you in the dark
You know they all pretend

What if I say I’m not like the others?
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays
You’re the pretender
What if I say that I’ll never surrender?

What if I say I’m not like the others?
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays
You’re the pretender
What if I say that I’ll never surrender?

What if I say I’m not like the others?
(Keep you in the dark)
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays
(You know they all… pretend)
You’re the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?

What if I say I’m not like the others?
(Keep you in the dark)
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays
(You know they all… pretend)
You’re the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?

So who are you?
Yeah, who are you?
Yeah, who are you?

Okay, so I’m sort of a 15 year old girl when it comes to my heroes - I admit it proudly. Anyway. So when I was working on dirty/bad/wrong it was Julian McMahon and holy cow why not? Youtube, you’re my crack. And now, with Standoff, it’s Dominic Purcell who’s my sex muse for Cade Warden. Just look at him…

Went to the Emerald City conference this past weekend and it was lovely until the conference crud set in, sending me home early. I was thrilled to hang out with my agent, friend and all around rock star Laura Bradford for a few days. We hung out and chatted about books until well after midnight both nights. Had several fangirl moments (SUSAN ANDERSEN, people!) Christina Dodd gave an amazing speech and made me laugh. Julia Quinn was at my table on Saturday for lunch (JULIA QUINN!!). Had a lovely dinner with friends on Saturday night, the booksigning was fun although the person who was supposed to sit next to me didn’t show so I was sort of isolated in a back corner, LOL, but people came by to say hello including my husband who brought the kids to show them what momma did at work.

I got some pages done on Saturday morning, which is lovely. I need to get back to work today because yesterday I left the con early, came home, slept, woke up, and slept more.

Hope you all had a good weekend!

Last night my dude and I went to see Fashionistas. I’ll actually write a longer review of the show later on but I’ll say now it’s the best show I’ve seen in Vegas, in fact, one of the best shows I’ve seen period. Great dancing, fabulous soundtrack and well, the dancers’ bodies are off the chain.

I’ve gotten some reading done this last week and some new story ideas. I love traveling, it always gives me new ideas. Of course, I have so many deadlines, I’ll be writing these ideas next year at the earliest.

Speaking of writing, I’ve just contracted a contemporary novella, To Do List, with Samhain. It’s got a holiday theme and it’ll be out in December. More details to follow.

It’s 109 here. Seriously. Bleh. The heat? She sux. Still, Vegas being Vegas, you don’t go outside much anyway, although I did walk way too much in stilettos last night and my toes, they pay for the pain.

Tonight it’s more fun! I’m hoping to go shoot machine guns tomorrow, I’d like to know what it feels like when I’m writing some of my heroines.

Whheee! Food is here. Gotta step!

No TT today, I am buried in twelve million things to finish up before vacation time. I did post at The Bradford Bunch today so check it out if you like!

I will leave you with a picture…

I was over at The Dynamic Trio earlier this afternoon talking about how I’ve found myself in this very nice, nearly Zen space about my writing. I feel calm and positive. I’m not harried and rushed, I’m not blocked or feeling discouraged. I finished one book I love and I’m nearly finished with a second and when that’s done and they’re both edited and sent to Angie, I’ll start work on a project that’s 100% pleasure writing. I don’t know where it’ll go, I’m not thinking in terms of market. I’m not going to stop at the end of three chapters. I will write to the end, all for myself.

Right now, I’m good. I’m happy. I have books scheduled for release into May of next year. I realized the other day just how blessed I am. How much it means to me to be here in a place where I am doing what I love so much.

I honestly think it was starting the 70 Days of Sweat challenge that jump started this for me. It enabled me to put a focus on my writing from a different place. It brought me this fabulous productivity and I captured the feeling I hadn’t had in a while. I laid aside the stress of the wait, the anxiety of “will it sell” and I’m just writing. It won’t last forever, LOL, the anxiety is always there in some sense, but I’m taking this lovely feeling and embracing it while I can. To save up and use when I’m FUHHREEEKING! about something or other.

57,721 / 70,000 (82.5%)

Wolf Unbound - up over 4K from Monday.

A few years ago, Idlewild opened for the second leg of the Pearl Jam NA tour and I fell in love with them. Every night they’d come out, in dire need of a sandwich, and say, “We’re Idlewild and we’re from Scotland” and they’d end each set with this song. In Remote Part/Scottish Fiction

I wish more people knew who they were because they’re really good and it’s rare to hear a band who makes straighforward rock and roll. Not guitar rock, not EMO, but plain, direct rock and roll.

This song has kept my brain company while I wrote many a time - Live in A Hiding Place

And this one, Little Discourage, which has an actual real type video

More later on writing and stuff, but I wanted to go all fangirl for a moment…

I haven’t written a book from beginning to end that hasn’t been contracted in a long time. I’ve decided after I finish up Wolf Unbound, I’m going to write Sisters of Mercy. The full. Period. I haven’t done this since last year. Writing partials and selling that way is nice. It saves time and I don’t get so attached to the book so if it doesn’t sell I’m not as sad. At the same time, it’s like taking a few bites of a meal and wandering off.

Anyway, by pushing and finishing up Wolf Unbound way before my October deadline, I’ll have some time of my own. I don’t owe anyone anything until January so I’m going to finish this book because I want to. This writing thing has to be a balance for me and while I love the books I write on contract - obviously or I wouldn’t have written the partials to begin with - the idea of writing something wholly for myself, without any constraints but those I place on my own, makes me very happy. It’s a simple thing and god knows I want to sell this book of course, but I think at least once a year I want to do this if I can.

Let’s see - Thursday

45,549 / 70,000 (65.1%)

Wolf Unbound

Friday

47,682 / 70,000 (68.1%)

Wolf Unbound

I’m cooking, consistently working my way toward the end of the book and I’m liking where the story is going.

For Thursday and Friday

2,362 / 90,000 (2.6%)

Sisters of Mercy

I’m in the midst of a Depeche Mode binge. Funny how I listen and it totally captures a specific time in my life, a specific person I was then.

This song in particular - Shake The Disease
Here is a plea
From my heart to you
Nobody knows me
As well as you do
You know how hard it is for me
To shake the disease
That takes hold of my tongue
In situations like these

Oh the angst! Understand me.. God

I was in my early teens when I discovered them. My friend Wendy had an older brother who introduced me to so much fabulous music. The first time I heard Dead Kennedys was through him, Black Flag, etc. And then punk began to fade and Depeche Mode found its way to his record player (yes, record player my young friends).  People Are People. It was 1984, I was 16.

I can actually still remember taking the record home and putting it on. That funky beginning, I’d never heard anything like it before. And then Get the Balance Right, Leave in Silence, Everything Counts - I listened to it over and over and over. I was in love by the end of the next day.

Help me understaaaand….

Tenth grade. Wow. I had really big hair. My first real boyfriend who loved the Thompson Twins. Oh Sean th his name was. The only blond boy I ever dated. I remember going to a dance at his high school and dancing with him to Just Can’t Get Enough which, if I remember right, was like an import record at the time.

And then there were The Smiths

1984 was a big music year for me, much like 1980 and then 1990. The cassette of The Smiths landed in my hands and I heard Reel Around The Fountain. I’m shrugging because I still get all breathless rememebering hearing Morrisey’s voice for the first time. Meat is Murder came out the next year and it’s one of “those” records much like I discussed “those” books last week. It came out in February, near by 17th birthday. On my back in the park, probably chemically enhanced in some way, looking up at the stars listening to How Soon Is Now.

And then I graduated from high school to The Queen is Dead. Some months later I met my husband and pretty shortly thereafter we got an apartment together and I listened to the cassette nearly every day when I drove home from work.

I can’t promise I won’t write about music again, I can’t help it, I love it so much and it’s such a huge part of my creative life…