I got a note from a reader yesterday and she asked me, ever so nicely, if I could talk about the hard stuff that writers deal with. No, not the horror of edits or deadlines but the things that make us neurotic and crazy and depressed. She’s actually quite sweet so wish granted.
Last week, I had a full manuscript request with an agent. This is a big deal. I very much want to be represented, I want to break and write for NY as well as continue with ebooks.
But alas, the agent, while liking me and my voice, did not like the book. Now, the thing is, writers are already neurotic people. We’re needy and while we talk a good game about being used to rejection, don’t let us fool you. Being rejected sucks. It does. It’s not a trade secret or anything. But being rejected with a book that’s close to your heart and when you feel on the verge of the next big step? That really sucks.
I tried not to let it bother me but I couldn’t. So I wallowed. My husband brought home brownies and poured me a shot and cracked a corona for me right when he walked in the door. I cried in my bed and wallowed and freaked that it would never happen.
But the next day, I got up and back up on the horse (with the aid of a very encouraging email from the agent). Cause it’s what we do. If we don’t, we’re damned. Damned and lost and we’d most certainly never make it then. Still sucks, but you move forward and try to toughen up because rejection will happen again. It is part and parcel of the deal.
So there you go, Gail. A little scary insight into the neuroses of this particular writer.